so you want a pretty girl

who has style and finesse

a whole lot of sass

and a nice ass

perhaps one with raven hair

and eyes the color of the sky

a slim figure and short stature

she makes you feel tall

and climb the walls at night

she plays with your Dudley

and charms all your friends

even impresses the family

not that it really matters

but you can’t seem to find her

too many carbon copies

are all over campus

with their box color blondes

salon tans and sorority tees

shallow outlooks on the world

only trying to get over on the next John

been burned before by the same chick

so you got yourself a mail order bride instead

turned out she was up to the same tricks

wondering when your going to catch a clue

you need an ugly girl to satisfy you

one that will be grateful to even be seen with you

a fat girl with a lot more meat on her bones

she’ll keep you fed with a beer in your hand

I say get a dumb girl

she’ll never understand a word you say

but nod her head sweetly to any insane

thing you want to do

you could get away with anything!

dude…leave the pretty girls alone

they’re way too much trouble

full of nothing but lies

secret rendezvous with other guys

followed by random proposals

and scary outbursts

none have left you happy

you’ve put them all out

only to bring the next one in

get an ugly girl man…

she’ll make you happy for the rest of your days

by being grateful…subservient

and staying the fuck out of your way

an ugly girl the best solution

to your pretty girl problem

by Felecia